Originally written on November 2, 2018
I am so grateful there is joy after sadness. There is light after darkness. There is not one bad thing that happens to me that cannot be redeemed. God can turn my pain into my purpose. I know that this might sound crazy to you, but I am actually excited to see how God uses my life now, because I have no idea! After Kate went to heaven, all sense of my being in control vanished. I am free from all that entails. I am God’s, and He is writing my story, and the ending is better than I could have even imagined. I just have to wake up, open to what this day brings, work hard, serve others, and love.
“There is a question even more potent than the question ‘Why did my child have to die?’ That question is ‘What does God desire for me to do in the midst of this tragedy?’ The question of ‘Why?’ has no satisfactory answer. The question of ‘What now?’ can turn a person from grief to action, from loss to healing, from sorrow to joy, and from feelings of utter devastation to feelings of purpose. ‘Why?’ is a question that keeps a person looking backward in time. ‘What now?’ is a question that moves a person toward the future.” ~John MacArthur, Safe in the Arms of God, p. 134
I don’t want any of you to think for a second that I am not full of sorrow, disappointment, and pain. It’s just that the hope and joy and reassurance that comes from God’s unbelievable love eclipses even the worst things that happen here. Sometimes I have to tell my feelings what the truth is: I know that God can and will redeem even this.
Counted Worthy 